Twelve years ago today, I was lying on the operating table receiving a second chance at life. Twelve years ago, when I was 14 and told I needed a heart transplant, I did what any other teenager would do. I googled life expectancy with a transplanted heart. In 2006, google told me my new heart would last 12 years. Here I am, celebrating 12 years with a strong and healthy heart.

Last year I shared how it was the hardest year yet. This year, I learned to be an adult. Or at least I learned to fake being an adult to the best of my ability.

In December, Steven proposed. I cried and said yes. I cried again when I shared with Gundy that he was getting a dad. We’ve decided to do a small wedding in Belize, and I’m counting down the days. It’s an amazing feeling to know your biggest advocate and best friend wants to be there for you no matter what. I honestly cannot wait to call him my husband (even if I still don’t feel old enough to have a husband).

If getting engaged and planning a wedding doesn’t make me an adult, does buying a house? In April, Steven and I purchased our first home together. I feel like we really faked it until we made it. I’m thankful we had a wonderful realtor to help guide us through the process. It wasn’t easy. We had some arguments, but in the end, we’ve decided it made us stronger as a couple.

I continue to get remicade infusions every 8 weeks and they’ve really helped keep my Crohn’s at bay. I’ve had my bad days, but they’re farther in between. My heart is doing well. When it comes to my Crohn’s and GI, I feel like an adult. I know who to call, how to make appointments and how to handle bills, etc. When it comes to my heart, I’ve always leaned a bit more on my parents. This year, I’ve learned to be more independent.

In Jan. my insurance tried to kill me (being so overdramatic, but still), by not allowing me to have my prograf. Which is the one immunosuppressant I’m on. As stressful and terrifying the situation was, it helped me learn more about my healthcare and insurance. I fought for myself and was the best advocate I could be. I really think it was preparing me for my largest heart-hurtle yet…

I recently learned my heart transplant center is less than stellar. I went to this center because it was where my pediatric center suggested. After a few newspaper articles bringing some transplant numbers to light, I’ve learned about life expectancy and death rates at my center were not good. I’ve done some more research and have made an appointment at a new center. It’s scary to leave the one thing I’ve known, but I know it’s best for me and my future.

I finally feel like I’m where I need to be. In my life, job, workouts and my side hustle. I know feeling content is not the best, but I feel likeI’ve always been striving for something and I wasn’t sure what it was. I think I was striving to feel like an adult. To feel independent and strong on my own. I finally do.

I wouldn’t be here, adulting, without my donor heart. Without a daughter, friend, sister, passing away and giving me this gift. Every single year, for the past 12 years, I’ve celebrated this day. For the past 12 years, a family has mourned on this day. As i’m finding content-ness, I hope they’re finding peace. Peace with their decision to donate their daughter’s organs and peace with her passing. I know it’ll never be easy, but I hope they know they did the right thing and I’m forever grateful to them and their daughter.

Please become an organ donor. Learn more here.